Posted by: fizzhogg | October 25, 2010

Epic Announcements

Today was an “Epic Ride.” Now, Epic Rides are relative. What is an Epic Ride for Hova is not for me. Wait, that’s not right. What is an Epic Ride for Hova would be, uh, death for me. I should have said, what is an Epic Ride for me is not epic in the least for Hova. What is epic for Hova is probably not for Jens Voigt, but it might be close. What is epic for my 7-year-old son is not for me, and so on…..

But I digress.

Speaking of epic rides, or rather, Epic Rides, my son had his first Epic Ride this weekend. Though it was only 6.1 miles (he’s done over 13 at a time), he managed to ascend Chad, not once, but twice in the same ride, the second climb dead into a massive headwind. I loved watching his tiny body crank that single speed up this big hill, and as he was about a 1/4 of the way from the summit, I heard him say, “Shut up legs!”

It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

For those of you wondering why, this is why…

I told him that certainly qualified as an “Epic Ride.”

He wrote it on his calendar.

Now back to me. Because it’s all about me, right? Today was an Epic Ride.

One minute and forty seconds shy of 4 hours on the Unfat Machine.

58.8 total miles.

The ride included a climb up River Valley, some big headwinds, and many, many up and downs over severely rolling terrain. I also managed to finally figure out how to use my big chain ring, and continually pushed myself and the UM, cranking as often as possible in the big ring. One of the best moments was three and a half hours into the ride I managed to maintain a 23mph average for over a minute… with a slight tailwind.

I am now 55 miles short of 2000 for the year. I will get there before October is over. But as great as that is – and I do know how great it is – my year will still feel incomplete if I do not complete the El Tour de Tucson. Why?

Well, it’s like… going to the Super Bowl and then losing. Yes, I finished the regular season with a great record – over 2000 miles. But I can’t really explain to you the importance of El Tour for me. I have never done anything in my life. I mean, nothing like this. Never challenged myself. Never set a huge goal and went after it. I have been sedentary my entire existence.

I have to do this ride.

But I digress. Again.

So, yeah, my Epic Ride today is the first big announcement.

The second big announcement, which was really the only big announcement before my Epic Ride, is…

My wife gave me a gift for my birthday this weekend. Here it is:

That’s right, people. Things are going to start happening to me now!

I have entered the GPS age. Soon I will be able to see just how close (or far off) I was on my estimates of the gradients for Chad, the Tour de Cure hill, Hog Hollow, River Valley, and all the others. Soon, I will be sharing my cadence rates – Ooo! Did all your heart rates jump?

I’m giving my silly Bontrager to my son. For him, it will be like having a Blue Gene zip-tied to his Specialized. But I’m covering it with tape during his rides so he doesn’t crash while staring at it.

Expect my next ride report to include many geek stats and fantastical stories of the Garmin Edge 500.

And I have already named the thing. Ladies and gentlemen, or, according to my site stats, lady and gentleman, please meet:

HAL 9000.

Eat better.

Ride your bike.

Get cool gadgets.

Fair winds and following seas, Willy


  1. Excellent! Now you will be able to QUANTIFY the kind of suffering you are experiencing! Instead of simply saying, “That was a very steep hill that hurt really bad,” you can say “It was a 14% grade for .8 miles and my heart rate reached 95% of capacity!” Have fun with it and I hope you enjoy yours as much as I do mine.

  2. Great post, P. I haven’t heard of the term “epic ride” before, but I also recently experienced one with my son. It is great feeling, isn’t it?

    I will see you at the Finish Line, but I will not be alone. My friend Matt and even better, my 12-year-old son is doing the 40-mile ride with me. It may take him awhile, but it will be awesome!

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