Posted by: fizzhogg | February 7, 2011

Top 3 Weight-Loss Plans

#3 – Cycling.

#2 – Becoming violently ill. Nothing drops the pounds like vomiting your guts out over a 48 hr period.

#1 – Poverty. The single best weight-loss plan on the planet. You wanna get small? Try eating nothing but Top Ramen and drinking nothing but water for six months, while you live in a studio apartment in a part of Hollywood where you risk your life just going downstairs to get the mail, but the only letters you get are direct-mail ads for places you can’t afford because you’re working the graveyard shift at Denny’s, and the only customers are non-tipping homeless folks nursing a cup of coffee for six hours, and hookers coming off the night shift who have already turned over all their cash to their pimps who never tip because they don’t respect you because…. wait, am I personalizing this too much? Let’s move on.

Last week I tried #2. And guess what? Four pounds lost in four days. Was it worth being locked in an airplane restroom while flying over Oklahoma with my head stuck in a plastic dumper that smelled like backstage at the PBR, as I made sounds that must have resembled… backstage at the PBR.

Uh, yep, worth it. Those of you locked in the seemingly eternal weight struggle like myself are all nodding – “Yep, me, too.”

So, today’s weight was a decent 204 – down seven from my Violet Beauregarde-like blowing up post EL Tour. And with almost 275 miles logged barely more than a month into 2011, I am filled with confidence that I will make my sub-40 goal with Gaz.

As to my Cycling in Mecca adventures, today was a 31-mile ride, and I decided to take my first self-portrait:

As to my other goals, let’s check in on the 101 Things To Do in 2000 Days

To refresh your memory, click here: OHAOTTDITTD project

We are oh, so very close to smashing #31.

#20 is dang hard.

I came close to pulling off #40, however I could not quite justify it. My old red and black U2 Special Edition is still cranking.

And I thought #51 was going to fall, but I blew it by deciding to participate in the #2 best weight-loss plan.

So, that’s it for now. Next weekend I hope to get in 100+ miles, and we will have some very exciting news in the coming weeks. Exciting being relative, of course.

Eat better.

Ride your bike.

Never give up.




Watch out for the road idiots


  1. Sounding good mate

    Just to keep you updated. Today, I am 200 pounds………….a drop of 4.5 this week……:-)

    200 frekin pounds…..that is something I NEVER thought I’d see.

  2. Nice pic. Is that a Fatty jersey?

    • It IS a Fatty jersey.

      My CVC club colors come in next month!

  3. Great going mate, good picture too!

  4. Sorry to hear you were ill. A loss is always a good thing. However, there are obviously good reasons why your body was rejecting something, which is not normal. So, beware of your body making up for the strange loss, by putting it back on as you return to good health.

    Nice work on the mileage. Keep it up.

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